I was about 4 months along with Quinn when I went to my Doctors appointment for my monthly checkup and there was no heartbeat. I carried him for about 2 more weeks because I just couldn't give up, and because I was scared with the fact that they would throw him away. Now I find out that I could have asked for my baby and buried him. I am very involved with the Stillbirth Bulletin Board at parents place and we also have a born still chat on Monday nights. I am also on a few mailing lists. I think I have come to a time in my healing process that i am able to help people, it feels good to be able to do that. Well thanks again for visiting and here are the poems Lori

I miss him, his smell, his tiny body...... My body still thinks its pregnant!!! I wake in the night believing he is within me, but my womb is barren, empty. My heart is full of love. So I dont feel so empty. He is within me, reborn inside me.

We lost our baby boy on April 27th, 1999. I am numb all over, and at times wonder if I will ever feel anything again.

My mommy and daddy were happy to announce, the coming of another child, more joy to fill the house. They told their mommies and their daddies, and they were happy too. They shared in their happiness, cause that's what mommies and daddies do.

My mommy and daddy didn't care what I would be. All they cared was that I was one, and with Cheyenne and Beretta made three.

When the time came, it didn't go as planned, and my mommy and daddy, they did not understand. They asked their mommies and their daddies to give them a guiding hand. Their mommies and daddies said, this must be part of God's plan.

So mommy and daddy don't worry I'm up here with God each day. I'm watching Great Grandpa Chet whittle, and Great Grandma lay crochet, and Uncle Brad will keep me company till you come to be with me.

So mommy and daddy please listen, I assure you I'm in no pain. You will always be my mommy and daddy, and I'll always be your Ruger Zane.

Ruger baby, mommy and daddy love you with all our hearts, and miss you so much.

The poem above is:(C) 1998, 2000 by Joanne Cacciatore, All Rights Reserved Do not reprint without written permission

I know it hurts a lot, and Mom you're probably sad, but if you look back at my whole entire life, you will see that I gave you all the time I had.

Do remember the first time you held me? The first time you picked me up? I remember, because I opened my eyes so I could see, as soon as I felt your touch.I remember being held, up against your chest so tight. Your tender touch, and loving arms holding me with all your might. I knew you were hurting and you were being strong for me. You knew my fate and God knew my destiny.

That's why God made it a point to put us all together before I passed. Me, my beautiful sister, my mom, and my dad. Now before I take my last breath and fall asleep, let me look one last time, such a beautiful family.

Please don't cry. I am in a better place now. Tell dad not to worry about me because I'm in the arms of Jesus now.

I just needed something to dedicate to my son. Matthew would have been born on January 16 2000. I love him and will always love him. He will always be my guardian angel. A miracle from up above.

My dearest Matthew,

Always know mommy and daddy will always love you. In our hearts you will always remain.

My wife and I experienced our loss the day after her 26th birthday on 9/21/02. It was our first pregnancy and we've struggled to cope and accept the tragedy. I wrote the following poem for a memorial service held amongst family and friends. I hope it helps others deal with their miscarriages. Steve

SOME THINGS I NEEDED TO SAY............

Steven W. Farris Jr.