It is interesting that you're doing the blanket project. I became close with the nurse who helped us with Mikaela (ed. note: the baby Mary Beth loss in 1997), and she moved to Utah just a few months after we had Mikaela. As part of my healing journey, I crocheted and sent baby blankets to her to give to parents who had lost or were losing their babies. It's a really neat thing to do.

While it was a bit hard to make a blanket knowing that it wasn't going to be for my baby, somehow it helped me knowing that I might be helping another family who just went through what I did.

The hospital that we delivered Mikaela at was great, our nurse was just phenomenal but they didn't have much in the way of resources for us or mementos to take home. We did get her footprints and the little hat but it would have been so nice to have a handmade blanket. Especially if it had been made by someone who had walked in the same steps I was walking then. I think it would have given me some hope knowing that I, too, maybe, hopefully, at some point would be able to reach past my own darkness to bring someone else some light. Making the blankets was more therapeutic for me than I could have imagined. Mary Beth

I am so excited about the 4B’s because of a simple white box I received on January 21st of last year. I was 32 weeks pregnant and went in for an emergency c-section. We knew that our son was not going to survive but I was not prepared at 32 weeks.

After waking up from my surgery, they brought my son to me. He was dressed in an adorable little gown and wrapped in a beautiful baby blanket. It never occurred to me to wonder where they came from - since I was so upset I never really thought about it.

Three days or so after I got home I saw this simple white box sitting on the floor. I asked my husband what it was and he said it was the box the hospital sent home. I thought it was paperwork and maybe a certificate of life. So, I finally had the courage to open it one afternoon when I was alone. When I opened the box I was shocked! There on the top was a beautiful white angel, below it was the gown he had worn and beneath that was the blanket he had been wrapped in. I was so touched and couldn't believe I actually had something that had touched his sweet skin. In the very bottom of the box was the card with the sponsor information on it.

I was amazed that there was an organization that did this for bereaved families. Now one night a week (sometimes more), my daughter and I shut ourselves in the bedroom and crochet for other babies. She and I have made blankets, booties and angels for bereaved families. I was actually able to thank the very ladies who made Greyson’s items and my simple white box a few months after Greyson’s birth. Next to my children, it is my most treasured possession!

I won’t pretend that it is easy to give something up that should have been made for your baby because it’s not. In fact, I still have the very first blanket I made because I feel that it should be Greyson’s. Someday I hope to have the strength to donate it to a baby and family who need it.

What I can say is it is an amazing feeling when you finish your project. As I crochet or knit the blankets and booties, I often wonder who will receive this blanket. Will it be a boy? Will it be a girl? I think of the parents and what they are going through, having been there myself. Someday their little white box will be their most treasured possession. And it is because of my beautiful boy that I helped give them that. Kimberly Schulte