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Notes from 1997-'99
Friends in West - Midwest
"Notes and Letters to SHARE Atlanta"
Cliff/NV/11/97 - "...we are not alone in how we feel"
Leanne/NV/2/98 "...I CAN BE THERE AND UNDERSTAND, IT IS SO PAINFUL, I KNOW, I'VE BEEN THERE"
Selena/CA/2/98 - "...opportunity to share with everyone my feelings and love for Kada Joy."
Kate/MI/3/98 - "...sharing experiences with others who know my pain is helpful in the healing process"
Alejandra/MO/1/98 - "...finally talk to someone who may understand"
Penny/OH/4/98 - "...We wanted a baby, but we had an Angel"
Dave & Jackie/CA/4/98 - "...web page will help us know that there are others out there that have felt as we do now!!!"
Jana P./ID/6/98 -...(I have been)facilitating the monthly (SHARE) meetings for more than three years..."
Tim and Elaine/CA/12/98- "...Nathaniel Riley was stillborn...
Kristne/OH/1/23/99-"...costs of funerals, etc. concern this mother...she wants to help...
"To all those who have experienced the same tragedy our prayers and thoughts are with you..." by Cindy, Anchorage, Alaska, 3/15/99
"I am so sorry for everyone's loss and wish happiness and peace in the future." by Nelke, Columbus, OH (5/12/99)
" She will always be my first baby though--I love her dearly and miss her so much." by Meghan, Downey, CA (6/23/99)
"Our baby died two months before her due date"...by Donnett Colfax, Wa (8/99)
"It was the hardest thing we have ever gone through, and even harder to go on. I know my rose waits for me 'on the other side' and I will love her forever." by Melanie, Akron, OH (8/99)
I'm glad I had a chance to read all the comments everyone has made, and have realized we are not alone in how we feel.
We love and miss our daughter Katherine very much. Katherine will be in our hearts and memories forever.
We love you,
Mommy and Daddy
Cliff
Las Vegas, Nv
E-mail
11/10/97
Return to list of "Notes" and LettersEight years later...Reaching out and caring...
I HAD A FULL TERM STILLBORN IN APRIL OF 1990. MY GRIEF WAS SO INTENSE, I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN.
NOW, AFTER 8 YEARS AND 3 BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY CHILDREN I'VE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH THE LOSS OF MY FIRST BORN. I STILL HAVE MY "MOMENTS", BUT THOSE MOMENTS ARE VERY SPECIAL TO ME. THERE ARE STILL TIMES I CRY AND WISH HE WERE HERE. I WILL MISS HIM EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE.
I JUST WANTED TO PUT MY NAME AND EMAIL IN YOUR GUEST BOOK TO BE THERE FOR ANYONE WHO WANTED TO "UNLOAD"..I KNOW THERE IS NOTHING I CAN SAY THAT WILL EASE THE PAIN...BUT I CAN BE THERE AND UNDERSTAND, IT IS SO PAINFUL, I KNOW, I'VE BEEN THERE.
Note #2 - DEAR MARCIA, I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PUTTING MY PRECIOUS ANGEL IN YOUR MEMORIAL GARDEN, I OF COURSE I READ IT AND CRIED..IT JUST MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO SEE HIS NAME IN PRINT. I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT SO I WONT EVEN TRY BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND SO IS THIS SITE. IT GIVES ME SO MUCH CONFORT READING ALL THE ENTRIES. THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN.
LEANNEE-mail
Return to list of "Notes" and LettersThank you for allowing me to post my poem in the Memorial Garden. Even though I didn't hold or see my daughter this allows me to acknowledge to myself and the world that I loved my baby, and I will miss her very much.
I know my feelings of guilt are very strong but I am hoping with time and self-understanding they will lessen. For it is too late for what ifs now and in my circumstances they may not have made a difference. That is something that I will have to come to terms with.
I just appreciate the opportunity to share with everyone my feelings and love for Kada Joy. I don't mind you putting my poem on the Feelings page. If it helps someone who may be feeling the same that would be great.
I wish I lived in the Atlanta area I would love to attend some SHARE meetings. I was born in Griffin, GA and have family there. My best friend lives in Syrmna and I used to spend alot of time in Atlanta. So I am sure ya'll would be like down home people.
Thank you again for allowing me to post my dedication. This has really meant alot to me! Selena Alvar
Visit
"Initial Feelings, Reactions, and Loss to read the loving poem that Selena wrote about her baby, Kada Joy. Visit "Friends and Family Share../In Loving Memory Of My Niece Kada Joy Alvarfor the loving poem that Paula wrote to Selena.
E-mail
Return to list of "Notes" and LettersI recently lost my little girl Hailey. She passed away after only 10 days and I miss her terribly.
I'm very thankful for this website, sharing experiences with others who know my pain is helpful in the healing process.
Visit 
"The Story of Our Little Angel" to read Kate's experience and thoughts about Hailey Elizabeth.
Kate
Hailey Elizabeth Rogula
12-27-97-1-6-98
Other/CDH(congenital diaphramatic hernia
& Fetal Growth Restriction
MI
E-mail
3/20/98
Return to list of "Notes" and LettersWe lost our baby more than a year ago. It was extremely painful and still is, but the depression is less now.
Since we've been traveling a lot, we never really found support during all the process. Now back in the US I have read about your group, but have not been able to find a group where I can meet with other bereaved parents.
How much would I like to talk with someone who's been in the same thing!
My truly best hopes for all of you who may be reading
AlejandraE-mail
Dear Alejandra, I am glad you have found us also. I am sorry about the loss of your baby a year ago. We do understand the pain you have been through and that going through it with little support makes it even more difficult. Please visit our site as much as you can and let us hear from you when you can.
The best part is you are in the area that our National SHARE group meets and has its offices. Please visit their site at http://www.nationalshareoffice.com/main.htm, and you can call them directly!! Check at our site under "Come Join Us" for more information about them and us. When you call or email them tell them that Marcia, from SHARE Atlanta, send you!
Dear Marcia: Thank you very much for your concern. I kept on browsing the internet that day and found the telephone numbers of SHARE in Missouri. I called them and was able to attend one meeting this week.
I really appreciated the support and the sharing of others. It was not easy, but it makes it more tolerable knowing that we are not alone in this, and that most of our strange feelings are experienced by others.
AlejandraE-mail
Return to list of "Notes" and LettersThank you everyone for sharing your memories of your angels. My son's name is Matthew Alexander.
I tell everyone "We wanted a baby, but we had an angel"
Visit
Penny's story and Initial Feelings, Reactions
E-mail
Return to list of "Notes" and LettersI know in time that Dave and I both will find peace with in our self, but until that day comes, your web page will help us know that there are others out there that have felt as we do now !! Thank you again !!! Dave and Jackie
Visit the loving poem that Samantha's Uncle John wrote in memory of Samantha - Family and Close Friends Share Their Thoughts and Feelings/"A poem for our angel Samantha" by Uncle John and
"Hello, Samantha..." by Jacki and Dave & Shay (4/98)
E-mail
Return to list of "Notes" and LettersI am so thrilled that I have found all of your wonderful support and information on the internet.
When my baby, Troy, was born still in my 5th month of pregnancy almost 6 years ago, I didn't have this other outlet for my grief. However, I did attend a local SHARE of Idaho meeting and have now been facilitating the monthly meetings for more than three years.
Our group is much smaller than yours but a friend and I are working to keep it growing. I hope, now that I have "found" you, I will be able to receive (and maybe offer) ideas, advice or help.
I decided to get serious about looking up pregnancy and neo-natal loss information yesterday, after talking to the third person in 2 weeks who said she was using the internet. Wow!
In our newsletter, I was hoping to print your website address and perhaps your topic list, if I may. Is everything copyrighted or are just the logos? I also read a poem in the Memorial Garden which I found touching and was wondering if we could reprint it.
Thank you for all that you are doing! The Memorial Garden is a beautiful tribute to all of our babies. I dedicated a poem last night for my little sweetie.
Please let me know what you think. I'll keep searching for more to share with the parents here in the Boise area. Sincerely, Jana P
For more of Jana's thoughts about Troy ~ "When I Held You" by Jana(6/98)
E-mail
Marcia's comment: I put your note on "Notes/West" - maybe someone in that area will read it and look you all up! Leading and "growing" a group is hard work, but I have felt it to be one of the special parts of my life through the last 13 years. We started with 4 people getting together and two moved away.
For a while we were definitely small. But, as more folks came to the group, healed, had babies and came back, we grew. We have had trials and lows mixed with many positive times. One healed parent, one living child, means something special has happened. That's what it is all about.
If we can help you in any way, we will. Yes, we are copyright (says so at the end of each page), but we want you to use "our material," just be sure to include dates, names of the folks who wrote the letter or poem, and copyright information(SHARE Atlanta (C) 1997/Marcia McGinnis, webmaster. Now, if their email address is not their, please don't use the material...they have asked not. As to that poem. I have her email and I will email her and ask if she minds. I used a part of her dedication in another part of my site and asked and it was okay... You may surely print our email, website in your newsletter and our topics!! I would be honored if you did!
Return to list of "Notes" and LettersE-mailReturn to list of "Notes" and LettersHi, my name is Kristen Cooper. I am trying to establish a fund, to cover the burial expenses of young children here in my county (Lake - OH). My reason for doing so comes out of a volunteer experience. I was working at our local RTL office and received a call from a grieving Mother, looking for help. There was no real way to give her a referral, in our area. My goal is to have a fund that would be available to help.
I am a mother of twin girls myself and just cannot imagine trying to deal with money issues at a time like that.
I was wondering if expenses are a big issue, or is this just a one off situation? I would really appreciate any insight in this area. Sincerely, Kristen Cooper
Marcia's thoughts: My point of view at this moment based on what I have seen in 15 years....
I think that this is an issue, but we have found, when asked, many funeral homes will consider lowering the price for babies. I think a move to help funeral homes understand the needs of young parents would be very wonderful. We need folks to write letters that explain the need and see how to go about helping funeral personnel "do the right thing" around this issue. Reducing the cost of cremation or burial arrangements would aid many young couples who face this situation.
Raising money is a very special thought...but how much? ...who would be entitled to it? ...where would you get it from and where would you keep it?...how would folks know about it? etc. Some efforts to promote understanding in the funeral arena about the high costs might be more productive in the long run. I know that some homes already address this issue. Frankly, we have never had anyone willing to work in this area...though we have discussed it.
I would find others input on this subject very interesting...
Entry #2: As far as the specifics of the fund, I am working out the organizational structure now. I wanted first to make sure I was not reinventing the wheel. As far as fund raising, there has been at least here on a local level some interest expressed. Working with funeral directors, is a great idea. I hope to enlist them and may be the ACA (American Cemetery Assoc.) As far as getting the word out about it, I hope to work with Churches, Funeral Homes and ER’s. I Would like to see it become a one stop referral, and information group. So a person in need would only have to make one or two calls. My goal is to take as much of a burden off families as possible. As far as who would qualify, that is going to depend, in part on our support base. I hope to expand it someday to whoever needs the help. Right now I am concentrating on children. I really appreciate you taking your time, and if I can be of any help please just ask. I hope to have the legalities worked out buy April. Then I will be better able to fund raise, that will be the true test I think. CaseyE-mailE-mailReturn to list of "Notes" and LettersTo all those who have experienced the same tragedy our prayers and thoughts are with you ( God bless you little Thomas and you forever will live in our hearts ). Your loving friends, in Anchorage, Alaska
CynthiaE-mailReturn to list of "Notes" and LettersI really like the way all these candles flicker. It really symbolizes that we will love them forever. I would like to request one for my little Farishta too.
I am so sorry for everyone's loss and wish happiness and peace in the future. Nelke.
NelkeE-mailReturn to list of "Notes" and LettersShe will always be my first baby though--I love her dearly and miss her so much. But, I'm comforted knowing she's with the angels in Heaven.
MeghanE-mailReturn to list of "Notes" and LettersWE thought that was a perfect name for a much anticipated little girl. Little did we know that her name was far more for us that for her. We needed more faith to get through her loss than most other things we have faced. We long to see her in heaven and are comforted that she is in such a wonderful place.
E-mailReturn to list of "Notes" and LettersOur beautiful "CJ" is so precious. He has two heart defects that will require surgery in a few months, and I pray for him daily. Our precious baby has an extra chromosome, which makes him even more special to us.
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