Gwen's letter is actually a dedication. It is put here because it clearly states how dreams can be made and dashed so quickly, and how a miscarried baby leaves an empty place in our dreams as well as in our daily lifes.

Neither one of you could stay with us long. All of the excitement and dreams of watching you grow up, vanished so quickly. We learned how many hopes and plans can be made in a few short weeks.

I know that if we are blessed with more children, that our first two children will watch over them with all the joy that your father and I will. Some day we will finally be able to hold you in heaven, my angels.

This will always be my first child, even though I don't even know if it was a boy or girl. My husband and I will never forget about our first child or stop missing it. I just hope I live a good enough life here on earth that I'll be reunited with my baby in Heaven.

My goal in life was to find the perfect man to settle down with and start a family. I found that in Wendel.

So after many years of trying, our dreams were finaly coming true. I was ready to give up all together when it finally happened on Feb. 10, 1997. Just to be sure we tested again on Valetines Day - IT WAS POSITIVE! That was the happiest day in our lives. No baby could have been more wanted or hoped for.

I remember staring at myself in the mirror and imagining how much bigger I was going to get. Our due date was 9-21-97. A date forever eched in my heart.

Five day later I began to spot, pink at first, then much heavier. I went to the ER. Blood was taken, and I was examed and told: "You're having a threaten m/c go home on bedrest and see your doctor in a week." Afraid and confused we went home.

I eventualy went to a relative's home, but I knew we were doomed. I had begun to bleed quite heavily by now; no bed rest could help.

The day I saw my doctor, she sent me for a u/s. After what seemed like an eternity, they found my little one.

He had stopped growing at 5 weeks. No heartbeat could be found. I spoke with my doctor and she set the date 2-27-97.

I went into the hospital as an expectant mom only to come out with no baby, only memories of what it felt like to be mom-to-be. September has come and gone leaving in its wake another February - that holds only dreams and shadows of yesterday.

I will never forget you and will love you always. Sleep with the angles Sweetpea until we are united in Heaven together again.

Although you were ours for only a few weeks, we will never forget you. When your daddy and I found out about you, we talked about who you would look like. We decided you had your mommy's hair and smile, and your daddy's eyes. We knew you'd be smart and kind, and most of all, very, very loved.

We will always have the memories of finding out about you, dreaming about you, and loving you.

I know that you are in a safe and caring place, and you are looking down, watching over your daddy and me.

This was a very wanted baby. A very loved baby. We had tried for 4 years to conceive. What a delight when our Dr. told me on April 16th that we were going to have a baby!

But joy turned to sorrow on May 28th, when at 10 weeks, I began to bleed and cramp. I felt like my body had betrayed me. Why couldn't I protect the baby that I loved?

Was rushed to the hospital because I had lost so much blood. An emergency D & C was preformed. My womb that once held new life was now empty along with my arms.

I was placed in post-partum to recover. I heard babies crying. I even had a nurse ask me if I wanted to feed my baby. This was pouring salt into my wounded heart.

It has been 2 weeks...sometimes it feels like 2 years, and sometimes it feels like 2 minutes.

I wrote her a poem...I miss her so much.

Oh how I wish that I could have held you just once. I wish I knew if you were a boy or a girl. I have fallen in love with you in that short 4 to 6 weeks I carried you. I miss the way if felt to have a belly that had a little bump, that bump was you my dear sweet Angel.

I miss all the talks me and daddy had about you, and things we were going to do for you and with you. Oh baby of mine how I wish had just one minute to hold you, to see what you looked like, to see your tiny fingers and tiny toes and tiny button nose. I wish I could have kissed you and told you that I love you.

Sweet baby Angel never ever forget mommy loves you. Your mommy and daddy's first baby and always will be no matter what.

It is really hard for me to understand why you had to leave, but I know you are safe with God and your other brother or sister.

Here is something daddy wrote for you:

You touched our lives for only a short time. We will never know how you will have turned out, but you are still special to us.

will never know the love we have for you. It is not fair because we will never get to experience playing in the park with you, or watching you play baseball, or watching you in your dance recitals.

We know you are in good hands with our family and God in heaven. One day we will be together again in the arms of God. Until then always know that we will always love you and miss you Baby Price. Watch over me and your mommy and please help mommy understand why you cannot be with us. You will always be in our hearts.

I had waited almost five years for you my dear one. I knew from the day I had your brother, Cyle I wanted more children.

Within a week of finding out about you I started getting the nursery ready for your arrival. I had everything done in less than a week. I began buying little things I would need.

I went for my first sonagram, and came away with a picture of you. That picture is now in a frame in the crib where you would have slept. I can see the image of your beautiful face.

I was on top of the world...you were all I could talk about. Your brother was so proud...he told everyone about you. I walked around with my hand on my stomach, "holding" you all the time.

I went in for my three month checkup, relieved that I had made it past the first couple of months, thinking you were safe. Then the doctor gave me the news. Your heart was not beating, and you had stopped developing at nine weeks. My life came to a crashing halt at that moment.

Even now, seven months later, I still can't bear to take down the things in the nursery. That is my only connection with you now, a place where I can go and be close to you.

My arms ache to hold you...so I sit and hold a teddy bear close to my heart and wish it was you. I will never forget you P.J. You were my precious little one...

So, my dreams were short lived. I was told at my monthly check up that both of my babies died just 6 days after I saw their beating hearts.

I will never be given the chance to count 10 toes and 10 fingers for each of my angels or to hold them in my arms. I will never see their first smile or to hear "mama" cross their lips. But, I know that my precious unborn angels have been called by God to serve in his "ranks of Angels" and I would like to think that God needed them more in heaven than we did here on Earth.

So, please do not tell me it is "for the best" or that "something must have been wrong with them". The only thing that I see wrong is the fact that I went to the hospital with two babies in my womb but I left with no babies in my womb and no babies in my arms.

And please do not tell me to try again, of course I know that I can. Right now I need to think about my unborn angels, I need to mourn, I need to heal because my pain is very real.

Although I know there are two souls in heaven waiting on me, I still have any empty spot in my heart and shattered dreams.

I will always love and remember my unborn angels.

We lost our baby at 8 weeks. To some I know that doesn't seem long. I feel that some people think we over react, that we should be over it by now, but we aren't.

I think of our baby, our sweet angel every day of my life. I don't cry everyday now, but I do still cry alot.

When people ask if we have children yet, I just want to die inside. YES, I have a baby I want to say, but I don't want people to think I want their pity. I feel like I betray our child when I say, Not yet.

I am sixteen...never experienced true love...today I went to the doctor with stomach pains. Three hours later I have lost the only thing I have ever made.

Rachel was the little girl I always wanted, I can still smell the Kool Aid flavored memories that surround her soul.

I was only with her for a short time before my body gave me an unsolicited break and miscarried her somewhere into the Heavens..I know she is peeking at us, Her Mommy and Daddy and two big brothers (5 and 3),and carries us in her heart the way we carry her in ours.

It is unfair that she is unable to share Christmas morning with us, that I will never hear her giggle or push her on the swings, that Josh and Caleb will never have a little sister to look out for, but she will be looking out for them!

Through the eyes of an angel she will be jumping in our laughter and swimming in our tears, and will be waiting for us to return home to be with her someday.

I know that Jesus sings her an ancient lullabye, and by now she must be coloring Him pictures that He puts on His fridge and talking His ear off, and asking Him to play dress up...Ill bet she's somewhat of a yellow/white haired little tomboy, playing baseball in pink dresses, and smiling at us in the sunsets.

I feel her everytime the tide crashes on the shore, when the breeze whispers her name, when the butterflies and fireflies try to catch me....She will NEVER be forgotton, she was a person who evolved into an angel. We love you Rachel,never forget that....

Love, US (*SMILE*)

Also rememberd Noble Ragale McQuiggin, lost full term 9/27/97 after 15 hours on eath, his memorial is in the Sept-October 1998 memorial section. And lovingly they watch over, little sister/big sister, born SAFE, healthy and living 9/22/98, Lillian Ophelia Bliss!

I found out I was going to miscarry after the 2nd attempt to hear the fetal heartbeat, September 20th. My husband and I were in shock, and told we could elect to have a D&C. As I had no signs of miscarriage, I elected not to, but to wait and see.

Well, On October 1st I began the slow process of miscarriage, and, as the bleeding seemed normal, thought I could handle it and still decided against the D&C, which was approved by my dr. and midwife.

On October 14th, beginning at 11pm the 13th, I began having pain I cannot describe, and ended up having contractions for over 6 hours, passing profuse amounts of blood and tissue. I managed to save some of the tissue, and finally went to the ER around 5am.

The pathology report stated it was a partial molar pregnancy, which meant that an abnormal placenta and fetus had formed due to having too many chromosomes (2 sperm penetrate 1 egg).

We never did find out the gender of our baby. But I had always felt it was a girl.

I went back to work 2 days later. I was saddened by the lack of acknowledgement, and wasn't afraid to confront my co-workers, who I considered my friends, about it.

What I eventually found out was that the one person, my best friend, who I had told to tell the others had told them in her own words "it wasn't really a baby". I had told her about the abnormal development early on, hence confusing the situation and leaving me and my baby's death virtually unacknowledged.

I told people, in one-to-one conversations eventually, that it was a baby to me and my husband for 3 months. I didn't officially miscarry until week 17, which would've been 4 months.

I was so so saddened and depressed for weeks. I learned more than I ever wanted to know about grief for a loved one, something I had never before experienced in my 27 years, including human nature's tendency to avoid the subject of death in general. It would have been our first baby, and we were ecstatic about her.

I hope no one has to experience the lack of acknowledgment that I experienced, but alas, I know it happens all the time.

Some people just don't know what to say or how to react, and therefore say nothing. Some perhaps don't see it as a death of a baby or even consider it a life. My advice would be to gently educate those around you about how you feel and what it means to miscarry a baby you wanted with all of your heart.

Those who truly care about you will acknowledge your pain and attempt to empathize. Maybe the next time they have a friend who has a miscarriage, they will know better how to respond.

To us, it was a death. Just because we didn't have a funeral, or our baby never cried, doesn't mean it wasn't a baby at all. She was a baby to us, and we still grieve over our loss--it's only been a month.

For 3 months she gave us lots of joy and anticipated hopes and dreams which we still cherish.

Due to the partial molar pregnancy, I am not to conceive for at least 6 months once my beta hcg levels drop down to at least 5 or under. My hormone levels have gone from 28,000 to 24 in less than a month. Hopefully I'll find out today they are zero, and I'll have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.