My son died some 25 minutes after birth due to neonatal asphyxiation. It's been one and a half years now and it's still very hard. With the holidays coming up I can't help but let my thoughts drift to Ryan and how it would be if he were here to share holidays with us. I know there are so many people out there who are going through this too. I don't really have anybody to talk to about this. Peoples reactions to me when I bring up anything to do with my loss and they give me the impression that they think I should be over this by now. That life goes on...... Well yes it does but it doesn't make it any easier.........

Thanks for letting me vent.

We sang this song while I was growing up and when I got pregnant, since I was afraid to be happy about it to anyone, I sang this to him every night. It is amazing how I sang this and not ever even considered that "please don't take my sunshine away" could actually be my most earnest prayer. I never thought that he would be taken away...

I am so thankful for you and to God for allowing me to have you for 7 1/2 wonderful months. I love you with all of my self and miss you more than words. So, on this day before Thanksgiving I am sending my love to you, my special baby boy. I wish I could hold you and love you and have you for Christmas, but for you I will be strong and make it through this time... I love you, and you ARE my little bit of sunshine.

We just want you to know just how much you are loved and missed. Even though we did not get to spend Thanksgiving together you are in our thought and prayer! We know that one day we will meet again and we will have many days of Thanksgiving. We are looking forward to see you and spending all of eternity with you and your brother and sisters. We love you very much!!! There is not a day that goes by that we don't think about you. You are our sweet little angel!!!