I've never seen you, not even a picture. Back then we were supposed to pretend that things like this didn't happen. All your sweet smelling baby things were put away before mom even came home from the hospital. It was thought that it was better never to speak your name... that way our mom and dad would "forget" you and move on.

Our mother longed to hold you while you were here, but there were too many tubes and wires... and besides that, the doctors didn't want her to "get too attached" to you, because you were so very sick. How does a mother not grow attached to a baby that is living inside of her for nine months?

When you died, a big part of mom and dad died too. They may have tried to pretend like you never existed, to move on with their lives, but I promise you that you were, and still are, very much loved and missed. Their hearts were broken, they just didn't know how to get through the pain.

Things have changed now, and we know that not talking about a baby who's died doesn't make the pain go away, and that you never, ever forget your own child. Mom and I talk about you sometimes... we wonder what you'd be like, what you'd be doing, whether you'd be a mommy yourself yet. I wonder if we'd be close, or whether we'd fight. How very different life would have been with a sister! All my life, there has been an aching, empty space in our family, left behind when you were taken away from us. Always, there is someone missing.

I lost my own baby last year, just 7 weeks after God created her within me. Before she died we named her Emily Renee, in remembrance of you, her auntie. Now that she is with you in heaven, it seems an even more appropriate name.

When I get to heaven, I know I will finally see my sister. Only then, when we are all together, will our family feel complete.

My first and second children are 11 years apart, and they have a wonderful relationship. I really wish I could have had that sort of relationship with my sister, instead of growing up an only child. But, I know I will meet her in Heaven.

I wanted to write this so that everyone, including Fifi, will know that she has never been forgotten.

We love you Fifi.

You were the little man that dad had always dreamt of. You were going to be his little athlete, especially in boxing. You were going to be the little brother that Lisa and I were going to protect, although we both know now that dad would have raised you to protect us. You were going to be so many things to so many people!

I think about you so much and wonder what you would be like right now. One thing I never wonder though is if we would have been close. I know that you, Lisa, and I would have been wonderful together if we would have had the chance.M

Mom, Lisa, and I talk about you every now and again and we are finally to the point that we can do it and not get too sad. We try not to talk to dad about you too much though. He will never recover from losing you K.C.

After losing you, dad kind of made me the surrogate boy, so to speak. I have played every sport imaginable, and I am grateful for that because it allowed dad and I to become so very close. Thank you for giving me that K.C.!

The pain of not knowing you is very hard to deal with. I was almost 6 when you entered our lives so very briefly and I remember it all so vividly. Mom and dad allowed me to go to your services and I was able to tell you good-bye which I am very grateful for. They never hid you or your brief little life from Lisa and I.

We will always have a little brother even if you wouldn't be so little now! It's hard to think about you being almost 23 years old!

Not only are you a little brother, son, grandson, and nephew you are now the proud uncle of two very special little boys. I'm sure that you know all of this but I want to tell you about my little loved ones and I want to thank you for watching over me during my pregnancies and their births and now watching over them. Gosh, how I wish you could be here to be one of their role models. I promise to tell them about you! Please continue to help me be a good mother and help me to keep them safe.

Is it nice to be with Grandpa Bob, Grandma Stella, and Grandma Francis? I bet they were thrilled to meet you. How very nice for them to have a grandson waiting for them when they entered their Eternal lives. Please tell them all that we love them very much and that we miss them.

K.C., we love you and miss you horribly! I hate the pain of not knowing you but I love the idea of someday all of us being a WHOLE family again. That will not happen until we can all be with you. Until then my baby brother, please keep an Eagle Eye on all of us and know that we have loved you since the moment we found out that you were going to join our lives and that we will continue to love you to the ends of the Earth and beyond. We literally love all the way to Heaven and back.

See you later my baby brother!

It was February 19, 1976. My seven year old sister dropped her coat in front of the school bus. The bus driver did not see her and when she stood up he ran her over and then backed over her. I was thirteen at the time, I came home from school for my dad to tell me that she was dead.

She was my baby, even though my mom had her, she was my baby. Had she of lived, she would be 34 yrs old now. She has been gone so long, and yet I have never forgotten. On the anniversary of her death I still get depressed.

I didn't get to watch her finish growing up. I blocked up most of my grief and only unblocked it many, many years later. This was in the seventies though so things were different.

I reccommend grieving at the time and as much as you can, so you don't have to carry it all around with you many, many years later. Every year I take pennies to her grave, "Ham Lincoln was her favorite president I hope I have helped in a small way.

Your tiny brief life has touched my heart in ways no one could ever know. Sleep tight on the clouds Billy - when you wake up I will be holding you.