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"Sharing" Our Stories/Thoughts - Along this Path

E-Mail Entries - The Importance of Naming Your Baby

"Sabrina, Frank, Jamie"
It has given me a great relief
to have finally named my babies.
They are thought about often.
Sandra S.
Bloomfield, NJ

Naming our baby and using our baby's name is important.

Our babies will always be a part of our families. A name gives our baby the identity that she/he deserves.

As time goes by, and parents begin to accept that using their baby's name and doing things in his/her memory (just as you would an older loved one that died) is okay, their pain begins to ease.

"A Diary: Naming Our Babies to Heal" by Debbie Bader-10/04

Letters and Poems about Naming Our Babies

"...great relief to have finally named my babies." by Sandra (8/97)

"Haley Serena" ~ A Special Name for a Special Baby Girl" by Heather (4/98)

"What can a name mean? Everything!" by Rocky (6/98)

"Has anyone ever named their second live birth after the name they would have given a lost child? by Jody (12/31/98)

Naming Your Babies after 41 Years by Kim (3/98)

" Willow Adriel" by Terra (1/14/99)

"God said Faith" by Donnett (8/99)

"Eternity Aziza" by Jodi (11/15/99)

Sandra mentions one of the major "secondary losses of grief" - energy loss. She also shares how naming her babies has been a very positive step in her healing.

As I look at the two children I have who came to me very healthy and happy, I often remember the three babies I have lost. It wears me down to think of all I lost in such a short time.

It's been two years since my first two miscarriages and only five months since the last, I never found out until recently the sex of the babies. Since, then I have named all three. It has given me a great relief to have finally named my babies. They are thought about often.

Sandra S.
Sabrina, Frank, Jamie - Miscarriage
Bloomfield, NJ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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A Special Name for a Special Baby Girl

From the moment I learned I was pregnant my baby was my life. When I was 5 months pregnant, I found out that I was having a girl. I named her Haley after one of my favorite authors(Alex Haley); Serena because it means princess.

My family was so excited because she was the first granchild and neice. I was due 1/28. Haley was born 1/20.

I was so excited when I went into labor. The pain was overwhelming, but I didn't care because I knew I would finally be able to meet my daughter. My pregnancy and labor were both normal so I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

After I gave birth, I looked down in exhaustion and excitment and saw my beautiful baby girl. I was so happy. Then my joy turned to unbelievable pain. Instead of the doctors giving me my baby, they worked on her and moved me to another room.

Later my doctor came and told me that Haley's heart failed, and she was was gone. At that moment a part of me died with my baby.

Although she is gone,
she will always live on in our hearts.
I was blessed by my baby's life
and the memories she left behind.

I will never forget my princess "Haley Serena."

Haley Serena
Died soon after birth
Wellsville, NY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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What Can a Name Mean? Everything!

W is for the will to go on
A is for the anger I felt
L is for the love you brought into this home
K is for the kindness many people have shown
E is for eternity above
R is for all the roses you have grown

G is for God's mysterious ways
L is for the light above
E is for the emptiness I've felt
N is for the nights I've cried

H is for the heavy heart
A is for the angel you are
Y is for the years you're not forgotten
E is for everything that you've given to me
S is for the sorrow that overflows my heart

No matter where I go, or what time of day or night, there is never a time when you are not with me in my heart and my thoughts. Walker Glen, you are loved and remembered forever. Until we meet again, my Angel. Love, Dad

Written in memory
of my Little Buddy,
Walker Glen
Stillborn June 24, 1994
Never forgotten
Rocky G.
SHARE Atlanta

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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I found out today that I am losing my third pregnancy. I have one healthy toddler named Elisabeth.

This loss is helping me to grieve my first loss that I never grieved because I was so traumatized. I have deceide the claim the name Grace for my first daughter and Spencer for my current loss, after Princess Diana. I think the point of this loss is to help me heal from the first.

Has anyone ever named their second live birth after the name they would have given a lost child?

Waldorf, Md

Marcia's Thougths: Naming our babies brings up many questions. In our group parents have done just about everything around names. Most parents do what feels right at the time. I have had parents feel very strongly that each child's name needs to be different and for THAT child. Others have felt just as strongly that naming a living child what they named or would have named a child they lost is giving the living child a very special gift. I think each decision rests with the parent..noone even has to know unless you choose to explain...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Willow Adriel
Naming of a baby we will only hold in our dreams

We named you Willow, which means "freedom"
because in our hearts we know you are now free to soar.
We named you after the graceful weeping willow tree.
It has always been my favorite tree, so beautiful.
A tree that has always made me feel sad yet peaceful.

And Adriel, which means "of God's majesty."
We will always consider you a gift from God.
For now we have a guardian angel in heaven to watch over us.
The dream of you gave us so much happiness,
in such a short amount of time.

Love Mommy & Daddy

Willow Adriel
Fitchburg, MA

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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God said Faith

Our baby died two months before her due date. We prayed before she died what we should name her and God said Faith. WE thought that was a perfect name for a much anticipated little girl.

Little did we know that her name was far more for us that for her. We needed more faith to get through her loss than most other things we have faced. We long to see her in heaven and are comforted that she is in such a wonderful place.

Colfax, Wa


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Naming Your Babies after 41 Years
Barbara Calvert Born August 27,1957 died August 28,1957
Edward Cheshire Stillborn on October 13, 1958

Entry #1 - My mother-in-law had her 8th child that lived almost two days. They didn't let her name her or anything. I got very angry about that. How stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I asked her what the kids names were (her 9th was stillborn, full term) she said, "I was going to call the girl...." I stopped her in mid-sentence and told her that there was no "I was going to.." I said, "You are going to call her. You need to call her by name. She lived and breathed and even if she didn't she was still a person just like her 9th child and my Spencer. THEY HAD HEARTBEATS, THAT MEANS EVERYTHING!"

But I would like to write her story. She is such an amazing woman. I would like for people to know about her and acknowledge her accomplishments as a mother. She is going to be 75 this year, and I admire her greatly for all that she has done and been through. Can you imagine? - 26 pregnancies, 14 children (she had one miscarriage at 6 months) 12 miscarriages.

Entry #2 - Guess WHAT? I talked to my mother-in-law on Saturday and "read" her the riot act. I asked her what the babies names were, and she said "I was going to...." I stopped her mid- sentence, and said "NO What Are The Babies Names!"

She told me their names.

She called me yesterday, (Monday) and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I wrote the babies' names in my journal." I was thrilled. I said, "How do you feel about that?" She said, "It feels really good to see it in writing. I've never written it down before." She was crying.

I just felt my heart swell that she had finally found some peace. Not much since her grief has been silent for 41 years. But it's a start.

Marcia's note - not everyone will chose to name their children, and we should respect that. Kim knows her mother-in-law very well, and Spencer and Kim have given her a very precious gift.

Visit "Spencer's Story," Others' Supportive Influence and Notes for more of Kim's thoughts.

Spencer Calvert
Stillborn - 2/13/98
Duluth, Ga

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Eternity Aziza

We lost her on November 6, 1999, due to Severe Skeletal Dysplasia( most likely, Campomelic Dysplasia-pending diagnosis). We miss her so much.

Her name is very special to us. We wanted her to be named something that would comfort us, and remind us of how special her beautiful life is, and would remind us that although we don't see her, she still exists forever. Her name is Eternity meaning everlasting(forever) and Aziza meaning precious one.

Eternity Aziza
Second trimester loss
Tacoma, WA

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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