Naming our baby and using our baby's name is important.

Our babies will always be a part of our families. A name gives our baby the identity that she/he deserves.

As time goes by, and parents begin to accept that using their baby's name and doing things in his/her memory (just as you would an older loved one that died) is okay, their pain begins to ease.

Letters and Poems about Naming Our Babies

Sandra mentions one of the major "secondary losses of grief" - energy loss. She also shares how naming her babies has been a very positive step in her healing.

As I look at the two children I have who came to me very healthy and happy, I often remember the three babies I have lost. It wears me down to think of all I lost in such a short time.

It's been two years since my first two miscarriages and only five months since the last, I never found out until recently the sex of the babies. Since, then I have named all three. It has given me a great relief to have finally named my babies. They are thought about often.

From the moment I learned I was pregnant my baby was my life. When I was 5 months pregnant, I found out that I was having a girl. I named her Haley after one of my favorite authors(Alex Haley); Serena because it means princess.

My family was so excited because she was the first granchild and neice. I was due 1/28. Haley was born 1/20.

I was so excited when I went into labor. The pain was overwhelming, but I didn't care because I knew I would finally be able to meet my daughter. My pregnancy and labor were both normal so I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

After I gave birth, I looked down in exhaustion and excitment and saw my beautiful baby girl. I was so happy. Then my joy turned to unbelievable pain. Instead of the doctors giving me my baby, they worked on her and moved me to another room.

Later my doctor came and told me that Haley's heart failed, and she was was gone. At that moment a part of me died with my baby.

Our baby died two months before her due date. We prayed before she died what we should name her and God said Faith. WE thought that was a perfect name for a much anticipated little girl.

Little did we know that her name was far more for us that for her. We needed more faith to get through her loss than most other things we have faced. We long to see her in heaven and are comforted that she is in such a wonderful place.

When I asked her what the kids names were (her 9th was stillborn, full term) she said, "I was going to call the girl...." I stopped her in mid-sentence and told her that there was no "I was going to.." I said, "You are going to call her. You need to call her by name. She lived and breathed and even if she didn't she was still a person just like her 9th child and my Spencer. THEY HAD HEARTBEATS, THAT MEANS EVERYTHING!"

But I would like to write her story. She is such an amazing woman. I would like for people to know about her and acknowledge her accomplishments as a mother. She is going to be 75 this year, and I admire her greatly for all that she has done and been through. Can you imagine? - 26 pregnancies, 14 children (she had one miscarriage at 6 months) 12 miscarriages.

Entry #2 - Guess WHAT? I talked to my mother-in-law on Saturday and "read" her the riot act. I asked her what the babies names were, and she said "I was going to...." I stopped her mid- sentence, and said "NO What Are The Babies Names!"

She told me their names.

She called me yesterday, (Monday) and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I wrote the babies' names in my journal." I was thrilled. I said, "How do you feel about that?" She said, "It feels really good to see it in writing. I've never written it down before." She was crying.

I just felt my heart swell that she had finally found some peace. Not much since her grief has been silent for 41 years. But it's a start.

Marcia's note - not everyone will chose to name their children, and we should respect that. Kim knows her mother-in-law very well, and Spencer and Kim have given her a very precious gift.

We lost her on November 6, 1999, due to Severe Skeletal Dysplasia( most likely, Campomelic Dysplasia-pending diagnosis). We miss her so much.

Her name is very special to us. We wanted her to be named something that would comfort us, and remind us of how special her beautiful life is, and would remind us that although we don't see her, she still exists forever. Her name is Eternity meaning everlasting(forever) and Aziza meaning precious one.