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Poems for Mother's Day...

This Also Is Motherhood

We have no portraits of these mothers in our minds.
Sorrow and heartbreak are not part of our
Mythology of Motherhood.
The young woman sitting with empty arms,
Eyes brimmed with tears is not our picture of a Mother.

Yet in her grief is the pieta's anguish
She is a mother too.
This also, is motherhood.

Ottawa, ont


"YES, I AM A MOTHER - by JoAnn (4/98)

"A Loving Note and Poem" by Fiona (5/98)

"Avalah ~ Sweet little bird" by Donna (6/98)

"This Also Is Motherhood" sent in by Daisy (10/16/98)

"The Picture"...thoughts and a poem after 4 Amy (5/9/99)

"What Makes A Mother?" a poem sent by Peggy (5/9/99)

"I Could not Understand" by Richard - a very special note from a close relative who does understand...(7/13/99)

"Heaven's Baby Castle ~ For my Josiah James Alexander" by Beverley (4/27/01)

A Poem for Mother's Day

In Memory Of: Ian Marcus Walter, 9/11/97

Yes, I am a Mother
Though some may not believe
My hopes and dreams were shattered
Suddenly my son died inside of me.

I did not volunteer
For my son to be born still
I don't know why it happened
Some day I wonder if I will.

To me my son was beautiful
Long fingers, Daddy's hair
My square nose, lips and chin
Flat feet, soft skin so fair.

We dreamed he'd be a lacrosse player
Daddy's favorite game
Now we search for miniature sticks
To set by Ian's grave.

I loved my son before I knew him
"A twinkle in his parents eyes"
I planned events for his life in detail
Hopes and dreams, away they fly.

I'll never be able to read Ian a story
Or help him ride a two-wheeled bike
No Sunday strolls or birthday parties
No throwing snowballs or country hikes.

No school trips, no ant farm collections
No friends to listen in on the phone
No college diploma, no wedding bells
No "Happy Mother's Day" card
I feel so all alone.

Yes, I am a Mother
Though some may not believe
I loved my son before I knew him
Please don't take that away from me.

I mourn now even eight months later
I dearly love my son, many tears I shed
Please let me cry whenever I need to
Tears help me heal, accept and mend.

My broken heart will never heal fully
I'll miss my son each and every day
Certain things will remind me of him
I know I'll cry years later, when I'm old and gray.

Yes, I am a Mother
Though some may not believe
I loved my son before I knew him
Please don't take that away from me.

Visit "JoAnn's Diary" to read her other entries during a year's time frame.
Ian Marcus Walter
Binghamton, NY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Marcia and all you lovely mothers out there whose stories and special memories of your children I have just read. Thank you so very very much for "being there" for me right now so soon after the loss of my much wanted daughter, Rose. She died at 18 weeks pregnancy from Trisomy 18. Actual date was 2 February 1998.

Although I have a darling 3 year old son, Dallin yesterday - being Mothers Day was the most painful Mother's Day I have ever experienced. But you are so right in what you say about our lost babies giving us "gifts". I found JoAnn Walter from your group on the internet Mothers Day morning, emailed her from NZ and couldn't believe that finally someone from the internet had responded to me the same day. And on Mothers Day - JoAnn's first one after the loss of her precious Ian. How incredible!

I feel my baby daughter, Rose has now just given me a gift of a special friendship!

I am sure many of you can appreciate the pain I'm going through so soon after my loss. Sadly, we do not seem to have any support groups here so if any of you would like to share your story with me directly, I would welcome the opportunity to communicate with you. Who knows, if one day we start discussing our countries, I may be able to encourage you to visit our lovely country!

Meanwhile, I'd like to share with you all a special tribute to Rose which I read at her funeral service which my husband and I compiled and led (it was one of the few parental things we could do for our little darling).

The beautiful soul clung to God.
"I don't want to go back!" it said.
"My road to you has been long
and difficult, and now that I am home,
I can't bear to leave you again."

God said gently, "Beautiful soul
you have indeed arrived
but for those like yourself,
who have achieved perfection,
there must always be
a short journey back
to take to those on earth,
a special gift from me."

The beautiful soul cried, I will forget you
and all over again
I will know the darkness
of separation."

"No," said God,
that will not happen.
For I will come with you,
shining in your heart,
reminding you of home.
Fear not, beautiful soul.
It is only for a short time
and the parents I choose for you
will be worthy of the blessing
you bring them."

"Will they be sad when I leave?"
asked the beautiful soul.

"Yes," said God. They will be sad.
But in a very brief span
you will give them more love
and knowledge of love
than they could otherwise find
in their lifetime of searching".

I sincerely hope this tribute gives many of you some inner peace. From a mother in New Zealand - Fiona Hebditch

"...2 months after losing Rose, I fell accidentally pregnant again. This was a real shock...Tomorrow(5/11/99) will be the first Mothers Day where I have 2 living children by my side..." Future Pregnancy Issues by Fiona (5/14/99)

New Zealand

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Avalah ~ Sweet little bird

This was a very wanted baby. A very loved baby. We had tried for 4 years to conceive. What a delight when our Dr. told me on April 16th that we were going to have a baby!

But joy turned to sorrow on May 28th, when at 10 weeks, I began to bleed and cramp. I felt like my body had betrayed me. Why couldn't I protect the baby that I loved?

Was rushed to the hospital because I had lost so much blood. An emergency D & C was preformed. My womb that once held new life was now empty along with my arms.

I was placed in post-partum to recover. I heard babies crying. I even had a nurse ask me if I wanted to feed my baby. This was pouring salt into my wounded heart.

It has been 2 weeks...sometimes it feels like 2 years, and sometimes it feels like 2 minutes.

I wrote her a poem...I miss her so much.

Sweet little bird

You flew into our lives for 10 weeks...
10 weeks of hopes
10 weeks of dreams
10 weeks of joy
But you had to leave us

You had to use your wings to fly to another place
A place where you will never feel pain or frustration
A place where you will never hurt
But I do, my sweet baby

I long to hold you in my arms
I long to nurse you at my breast
I long to kiss your soft cheek
I know you are safe in His Arms

But Avalah,
My sweet little bird
You will always be in my heart

Your Mama

(*During my pregnancy I received many things with bluebirds on them. A newborn nighty, a beautiful glass bluebird, cards, a bluebird that sings...I decided to name our baby "Avalah" which means little bird)

Avalah Faith Cooper
Winter Park, FL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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This Also Is Motherhood

We all carry with us cherished images of motherhood,
Perfect babies and smiling mothers.
Universal madonnas, mothers mild.
Our anathesized world of modern technology
And controlled emotion has promised safe, happy child birth.

And somehow we have come to believe,
But in those same antiseptic hospitals where healthy
Babies sleep row on row in sweet smelling flanelette
There is another side of motherhood
About which no one speaks.

The baby born with half a heart,
Or lungs not made for breathing.
The baby who comes too soon
Too small to live outside the womb.
And the baby delivered in silence
With no explanation for its stillbirth.

We have no portraits of these mothers in our minds.
Sorrow and heartbreak are not part of our
Mythology of Motherhood.
The young woman sitting with empty arms,
Eyes brimmed with tears is not our picture of a Mother.

Yet in her grief is the pieta's anguish
She is a mother too.
This also, is motherhood.

These touching thoughts were taken from a grieving pamphlet I received after my sons death. Author is unknown to me.

Travis Raymond
Second trimester loss
Ottawa, ont

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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It has been nearly four months since we lost our precious Hope. Yet, I am feeling probably the worst I have since she died. The shock has worn off and the extreme "missing of her" has set in. I wrote the following poem just this week.

I came across a picture the other day of me, seven months pregnant. I couldn't believe how much it hurt to see myself like that again!

I seriously stared and stared at the picture, not really recognizing the woman in it to be me. My world has been turned upside down since the death of my child. The woman in the picture is like a stranger, yet, I KNOW IT IS ME! It's as if I am seeing Hope when she was alive, and INSIDE of me!

I loved being pregnant! I hate it so much that not only am I not, but that my baby isn't even here! I've tried to express these feelings in the following poem:

The Picture

Today I saw a picture
I had not seen in a while.
It was me with a big, round belly,
and on my face a smile.

The reality of you being gone
came suddenly rushing in.
I stared at "you," I stared at me,
and tried to deny again-

The woman in the picture
wasn't really me-
she was happy, too full of life
not suffering, grieving, bereaved.

"No! That can't possibly be me-
so wonderfully pregnant like that!"
Then automatically a hand reached down
to touch the stomach so flat.

Rubbbing it softly
the tears began as I cried,
"Oh my baby, my sweet, sweet baby!
Why did you have to die?"

Uninvited, the feelings returned:
emptiness, insignificance, despair.
I looked up and cried out loud,

Agony took over my body
as my fist shook up at the sky-
"Oh Father, please answer me!

There wasn't an answer,
only silence all around-
except for the sound of my weeping
and my foot stomping the ground.

I felt like a child once more,
and yet, so very old.
"These feelings will subside in time,"
at least that's what I'm told.

I can't see past the present
to look forward to the future.
How can I ever be happy
when all I do is miss her?

Without even noticing,
my hand was there again.
Lovingly touching my stomach,
I remembered your eyes, your nose, your chin.

Those tiny hands and feet-
precious baby, I'll never forget
that beautiful moment-
the first time when we met.

I know I'll always remember
that special time and place;
the way your Daddy held you
and gently kissed your face.

The tears began to dry
as I put the picture away.
"Father," I whispered, "please help me-
Please heal me," I prayed.

The woman in the picture?
Yes-I know it is me.
Someday I may smile like that again-
but for now, I must grieve.

For my baby girl, Hope. I miss you every day.

Love always,

(In anticipation of my first Mother's Day with and without you.)

Jan. 10, 1999
Roswell, GA
E-mail 3/9/98

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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What Makes A Mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes
and prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
and I know I heard Him say

"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But, God, can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?"

"Yes, you can" He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice

Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay"

"I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here"
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear

"I wish that I could show you
What your child is doing today
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say

'We go to Earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free

I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Mommy, don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here'

"So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are in My home
And this is where they'll stay

They'll wait for you with Me
Until our lesson is through
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you

So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

Though some on Earth may not realize
you are a Mother
Until their time is done
They'll be up here with Me one day
And know you're the best one!"

Author unknown

I just wanted to share this poem with you in time for Mother's Day. It says what's in my heart! I wish you all a very Happy Mother's Day, and know that each of you will take a little time this Sunday to remember all of our friends and so many others that have a hard time on this day because they are a Mother who's precious baby's not with them.

Anne Elizabeth, Stillborn
Michael Paul, miscarried
Atlanta, GA
SHARE Atlanta


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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I Could not Understand

Please let me relate this rather long story. I can remember it today as if it only happened yesterday.

>My sister called up to visit us - we lived about a mile from each other and my sister and my wife are as close as REAL sisters and not sisters-in-law. I was ushered into the sitting room while my sister and Maureen, my wife, discussed womens' things.

Why we men are not allowed to eavesdrop on these conversations has always puzzled me. Anyway, I knew better than to question either of them. My sister did seem to be somewhat upset and I thought she might be wanting a lift somewhere or maybe she was going to ask if we'd look after her dog for a few days. I thought of everything but the real thing.

After about fifteen minutes Maureen came into the sitting room and quitely told me that our niece, my sister's daughter, had lost the baby she had been carrying.

I was quite upset as I always liked my niece a great deal and knew she was looking forward to having this little baby.

My wife said that she and my sister were going down to my sister's house and that they would be back soon.

They did indeed return within half an hour and they had our niece with them. I was quite surprised as I was of the opinion that she should be in hospital. (What do we men know?!)

I called Maureen to one side and said "I thought you said Eleanor (our niece) had lost the baby". This was because, looking at her she still appeared extremely 'pregnant'. Maureen explained to me that the little baby had died inside of our niece. She further explained that our niece would have to be taken into hospital at some future date where she would be induced to deliver her 'dead' baby. This was really too much for me.

I could not undersdtand how a woman could bear that amount of pain, that excess of diappointment, that torture of having to go into a hospital, occupy a bed adjacent to other women who unlike you, would give birth to a baby while you would go through pain and heartache to deliver something that God had taken from you.

These thoughts stayed with me for quite some time after that day. No matter what I did, I could not get them out of my mind. When this has happened to me before I always found that once I put what I am feeling on to paper, the pain eases and eventually goes away altogether. That was how I came to write this little poem.

I imagined that I was my niece and that I had lost this little baby. I hope you don't find my little poem offensive.

A Lament for My Baby

I never got to hear you laugh
You never saw me cry
'Didn't get a chance to say 'Hello'
You never said 'Goodbye

I didn't think that I could feel
So sad, lost and forlorn
I never knew God chose his Angels
Before some of them are born.

Your life was short yet special
I shared it all exclusively
I felt you breathe, I felt you kick
You were alive inside of me.

Every baby is an Angel
And every Angel is divine
God needed one in Heaven
He came down and he took mine

And although we're not together
We're not really apart
For you'll always occupy a space
Deep within my heart.

Time has begun to ease my pain
It's only some days now I cry
When I wish I could have said 'Hello'
And heard you say 'Goodby'


Nieces baby -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Josiah, you are the son that Daddy wanted. Sure he has Zachariah but he wanted a second son, a playmate for Zachie. You are going to be so very missed by all of us. Jesus knew what was best when He took you to himself. Our tears are no longer tears of sorrow but rather tears of joy knowing that you are living there in Heaven's Baby Castle. Here is a poem Mommy wrote just for you. We love you Josiah James Alexander

Heaven's Baby Castle
For my Josiah James Alexander

In a baby castle,
Just beyond my eye,
My baby plays with angel toys
Money cannot buy.

Who am I to wish him back
Into this world of strife. on, my baby,
You have eternal life.

At night when all is silent
And sleep forsakes my eyes,
I'll hear his tiny footsteps
Come running to my side.

His little hands caress me
So tenderly and sweet.
I'll close my eyes and breathe a prayer
And embrace him in my sleep.

Now I have a treasure
That I rate above all other.
I have known true glory.
I am still his mother.

Beverley Stuive - April 16, 2001

Josiah James Alexander Stuive
Died soon after birth
New Westminster, BC Canada

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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