The love we have for our baby(s) lives on...
It's very special when we can begin to choose hope filled thoughts and feelings and turn them into positive responses.
We never have to like what has happened to us, but the intensity of pain lessens. Our energy can be turned to making our child's life meaningful, in a special way - of our choosing. As the hope returns, we can reflect on who we want to be as a result of our baby's presence and our walk down grief's path.
We gradually intergrate what has happened to us...
and begin to realize that we have deeper or new insights, feelings or reactions than we had before our loss. Often this list changes or is added to as the months and years go by. For example, one mother wrote to me five years after her loss that she was now a nurse and her two babies (Alexander and Samantha) were the reason for her new career.
So, hopefully, we realize, for the most part, our lasting responses are generally positive, and ones that we would like to share with each other.
At SHARE we have discovered that by acknowledging these reactions, we build a warm and safe place to carry the love and memories we have for our baby(s). We have also found that these positive "gifts" gently encourage the newly bereaved to be able to move along their path toward healing. (Marcia McGinnis)
Most of our volunteers are members that have either had a subsequent baby or have moved a ways down their "new" path. To further honor our special babies, at our first volunteer retreat, we made a SHARE tree of memories and "gifts"! We drew, painted and sewed our memories on a queen sized sheet. As new volunteers join our ranks, they choose a branch and add their thoughts!
Each part of our tree has a special meaning about our group.
The roots of our tree hold our babies' names, the trunk represents SHARE bringing us together, and the branches hold our family names, as well as the names of those people who have supported us since our loss. The heart shaped leaves hold the "gifts" we have uncovered as we have traveled down our various paths of healing.
We have found that our memories, mementos, and "changes/growth" are now a part of us, and we are anxious to put these special gifts on our tree.
We have taken this tree to the National Conference, to our Memorial Service and to any gatherings where it can give others hope! (Marcia McGinnis)Here is a brief (general) list of what is on some of our heart shaped leaves:
new careers or goals
For those who fear that healing will mean forgetting...
Healing does happen, and we will always hold these special babies close in our hearts and souls. At different points along our path, we take time to remember...
Making Your Child's Life Meaningful Menu
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