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"Makenzie Jane Smith my sweetest angel." by Jessica (9/10/01)






jessiepoohpooh@aol.com Jessica
Makenzie Jane Smith
8-28-01
Died soon after birth
9/10/01

Makenzie Jane Smith my sweetest angel.

It was on Aug. 26, 2001 I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain, I was having pre term labor contractions. They stopped them and sent me home on bed rest. On Aug 27 I went back to the hospital and found out through u/s that my water had broke and my baby was on the way. I was broken hearted because my little angel who should not to be born until Dec. 25 was leaving me.

After I had her they let me hold her, that's when I found out she was a she. I did not want to let go of her she was so perfect and beutiful. They evantually took my angel from my arms. They said she only weighed one pound and was only 11 inches.

About 45 minutes after having her they came back in my room and said that when they were cleaning her off she started to breath. The smile on my face and the tears in my eyes, I was so happy. I wasted no time going to see her in the neonatal unit. Even though I had just seen her I bust into tears because she was so tiny. My little miracle.

I spent almost all of my time with her, holding her I could not believe that this little miracle was mine. She was as big as the beanie baby her Grandma gave her. I dreaded going to sleep surprised that I did not that I slept well with the nurses constantly coming in and poking me. I woke up and ate, and I was down by her side just about all day.

I was up in my room and Sandra my angels nurse, who is an angel herslf called and said Makenzie had stopped breathing. My heart fell to the floor, and I was crushed. This was at about 7:30 p.m.

My family and I were down there till almost 11 o'clock saying our goodbyes. I washed her, changed her diaper, and dressed her, since this would be my only chance. I said my goodbyes to her in private.

This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and I definitely won't ever take anything for granted ever again. This has completely opened my eyes to a whole knew world.

With her being so small they offered free cremation, but I would not have been able to live and think that my baby was burned. So my mom and stepmom both put in $250 and the Dr. from where my mom works donated $300 and her co-workers came up with another $200. I would have a proper burial for my angel and a place to go and visit her. We bought a porcelin doll and used her dress shoes and little knickers for the funeral which fit perfect an her. The funeral was the second saddest thing I would have to go through. I never thought my first funeral would be my 1 day old daughters.

I am making it through my grieving. I am doing so many things to remember her by. I just thank God for allowing her to be with us for the time she was. She stayed with us on no life support it was her strengh to say I want to be with my mommy before I go.I love you and miss you Makenzie,love Mommy!

jessiepoohpooh@aol.com Jessica
Makenzie Jane Smith
8-28-01
Died soon after birth
9/10/01

Marcia's comments: You gave Makenzie some very special gifts during her short time with you. Being there with her was important for both of you. It is very hard for many of us to realize that we must attend our baby's funeral. This is not the way life's events are suppose to move. You gave her a very special funeral. I will include your thoughts in our "Funerals, Memorials, Memories under 'Saying Goodbye'". Other parent's "goodbyes" are shared here.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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